Are you concerned for your child? Wondering how to talk to them about difficult things such as abstinence, dating, or sex? Here is some information to help you with these difficult topics.
At the Brazos Pregnancy Clinic parents often ask us about whether they should give their teens condoms or birth control. Here is what the Medical Institute for Sexual Health has to say in response to this question:
Should I give my child condoms or birth control, since she may have sex anyway?
No! Never assume that your child will “have sex anyway.” In fact, most healthy teens take cues about their sexual behavior from their parents. If your teen feels that you think she’s going to be sexually active, she probably will be. If you think your teen is going to be (or is) sexually active, sit down with her at a time when the two of you are relaxed, rested, and not in the midst of a fight. It’s important to listen first and then respond in love; resist the temptation to lose your cool or raise your voice if she says something you disagree with.
At the appropriate time, ask her questions such as: Why do you want to be sexually active? (This would be a great time to discuss how beautiful and wonderful sex is at the right time in her life (marriage) when she won’t have to worry about having a baby outside of marriage or getting a sexually transmitted infection.) Do you understand the risk? Do you think sex will make you feel better? This would also be a good time to talk about the social, emotional, and spiritual aspects of sex outside of marriage. The truth is, most kids will respond very well if you take the time to listen and talk patiently with them and give them good reasons to stay away from sex until they find the person with whom they want to spend the rest of their lives.
Explain that no method of contraception is perfect. The condom has approximately a 15 percent failure rate during the first year of use, and even the pill has around an 8 percent failure rate during the first year, since many teen girls don’t take the pill consistently and correctly.
Additionally, condoms never eliminate the risk of any STI. At best, they reduce the risk if they’re used every single time, but even then the chance of infection for most STIs is about 50 percent if you have sexual intercourse with an infected partner over time. The chance of HIV infection with 100 percent condom use is less, but HIV is a disease that often leads to death (so even reduced risk is a concern). Consistent and correct use of condoms over time is uncommon.
If you are interested in finding out more ways to talk to your teen about sex we have many resources available to help you. Please contact us for more information.
